Poker Thursday Night and the Worlds Worst Sports Bar the Fox and Hound in Elmwood Part 4

She laughs... a fake laugh you know when wait-people put in the absolute minimum effort after just a terrible showing to be nice because of the tip possibility, even though it’s pretty unfathomable anybody would tip, and she was failing even at this.

She tells us of how overworked she is and I look around the now empty restaurant, the herd of staff looking like buffalo on the plains 400 years ago in one massive grazing entity, stepping over sweet and low packages as though the were cowpies, I give her you got to be kidding look. I might not yet be at the poker game but this was one bluff I wasn't falling for but apparently she was bluffing herself. We need more folks like here playing online poker that's for sure.

She's pretty oblivious even for the bovine. Perfect match for an online poker fish. She isn't even self-aware how is she going to know your cards if she can barely read her own.

I say, "I'll clear out only if you can get the rest of the games, you know the march madness games, on those other tvs up there. I think we've seen about enough of Nitro in his prime."

"The manager is working on it."

Really, is it like splitting the atom. Is she back there soldering wires together? Does she have to beat big blue in a best out 21 series in chess just to get access to the remotes? Or is busy not doing anything at all like the rest of her crack staff, I think to myself.

"I tried to help her with it but she got kind of mad."

"Oh that's because you are a demanding customer."

"A what?"

"You are demanding."

"...I've been here for three hours to watch college basketball, and for the first hour I didn't have a beer or the game I wanted and for the second two hours we've only had one game on, I'm demanding?"

"Well... The satellite system isn't like your cable box at home."

"Really?"

"No it's direct TV."

My friend quips, "So it's just like my DirectTV at home?"

"No... this is a satellite."

"Yes, you got that DirectTv cable coming in through your dish," I nod to him.

She nods in agreement. She's sincere.

"Gotcha," he says.

"Tell you what," I turn to her, "you get those games on I'll clear you out."

"On it," she walks away for the first time like she has a purpose.

You know you are a sucka when you let a nitwit outsmart you. This brainless bison wandered over to the manager (taking her sweet time as always... the other games were coming down to the wire and nary a TV had them on) and then smiles and nods and points in the direction of the TVs. The manager goes toward the receiver embankment, also known as the toughest mental challenge for the Fox and Hound sports bar managers since Sudoko premiered in the newspaper, and I think wow, i might actually be able to watch more than one game at once. There might actually be a reason to come to a SPORTS BAR with multiple TVs instead of watching it on the internet at home.

So the waitress comes back, I want to stiff her, but I can't, because I can't stiff waitpeople, I feel if they are miserable at their job, they are likely to soon be fired, and they will need the money. So I give her a tip.

Then she walks away and the games never come on. I feel like my dog bested me at Tic Tac Toe.

I corner the manager 10 minutes later when she reappears after her trip into the wardrobe, with a lion, a witch and four english kids, and she tells me the waitress never asked her to put the other games on. Wow, did I really lose a battle of wits with the witless?

I resist the idea of stating the obvious once again to the manager, making a some weird series of grimaces of restraint, and then decide why not in a flury.... "It's march madness every game should be on TV at once. This shouldn't be a request. It should already on there. I'm in a sports bar. There should be sports and there should be beer... at a minimum. Your bar has neither. It's like having a tanning salon without a tanning bed, a gas station without a pump, or a zoo without animals."

Never, ever, ever, ever go to the Fox and the Hound. The worst Sports Bar ever. I'll get to the poker next time, but considering I was going to play a mind game after failing to outthink a girl in the witless protection program it didn't bode well.

Comments

Eric S. said…
Never tip terrible service. It just re-enforces the fact that they can act like that and get away with it. Had that happen to me this past weekend and will never go back. Ur a bigger man than I cuz I woulda put on a freaking show for those people.
Eric S. said…
Never tip terrible service. It just re-enforces the fact that they can act like that and get away with it. Had that happen to me this past weekend and will never go back. Ur a bigger man than I cuz I woulda put on a freaking show for those people.
Tiltin Texan said…
yea i remember shitty service there too

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