Poker Thursday Night and the Worlds Worst Sports Bar the Fox and Hound in Elmwood Part I

After a terrible butt whomping by St. Marys and one of my worst experiences ever at a restaurant/sports bar ,the pathetic and apathetic, Fox and Hound sports bar in Elmwood, I play some poker. Got hot early and then whittled away most of my winnings. Wish I'd hit and run, I wish they'd teach that in poker school. I'll get to my poker later but first that terrible day.

The day of course started out pretty miserably.

Arrive to the bar in plenty of time to watch the Richmond-St. Marys tilt but of course in the drive over miss most the tight endings of the Nova and BYU games. Actually, I didn't miss them in the drive over, I got there in time, but what I didn't realize was that, I got to a place billed as a sports bar, that had 20 big screens and plenty of small screens but only one March Madness game was on the big screens. Welcome to the twilight zone, where logic has no logic, time stands still even as a game speeds by unwatched, and people are somehow underqualified to work in a bar.

Instead, horse racing, college softball, baseball, ESPN classic, and a host of other things I looked at barely long enough to know they weren't the exciting down to the wire action of March Madness. I immediately ask my waitress who looks overworked if I can get all the games on, you know each game, on at least one TV. She looks at me vaguely incredulously.

"Which game do you want?"

"I want them all... but specifically the Richmond game. Definitely the Richmond game" I look down at my toolish too sportsfanish sweatshirt that has Richmond broadly emblazoned across the front. I know, I know, who dresses up to go a sportsbar? I'm normally not that guy, but as opportunities are so rare for the Spiders to be on the National stage, I had to be him on that day. Plus, I've learned when you are wearing your schools colors you never have to deal with people requesting them to change your game from the TV you are watching. Sometimes, a necessary evil. In school spirit, I also dressed up my baby before dropping him off at my inlaws. In the latest example of me reading precognitive game changing abilities in my infant, I immediately took him spitting up on my sweatshirt and his spider onesies as a bad omen. Back to the conversation though...

"What do you want to drink?" she asks me and hands me a menu.

"I'll take a coke... and a big beer."

In scouting this dump, I found out they have a $4 beer special on Thursdays, I also saw some terrible reviews. Go here to read them.

Behind thick glasses that make some girls look sexy, but with this girl's personality, she could have vintage Pamela Anderson's body draped over hers and she'd still be the furtherest thing from sexy, her eyes widened, "You know what you want to eat?"

I look at the menu... "You just gave this to me."

She seemed confused.

Fortunately, the one game on cuts away to the last few minutes of the Nova overtime game, but then the BYU game gets gripping and I can't watch both at once. Unfortunately, 15 minutes later I see based on the channel changing attempts on the other screens this confuses the manager and she assumes they are all the same thing. Okay... I'm in a SPORTS bar, during the March Madness, and the manager can't figure out how to operate the satellite television. I also don't have a drink. Neither the sports or the bar part of their description is being filled.

The customers in there, maybe the tail end of lunch hour, pack up and leave. As I'm distracted listening to them grouse about service, food, and other things, I notice the waitress walk over with my coke and a beer on her tray. When I look back at the table it's just a coke. She and the beer have disappeared. What? No wonder they were bitching.


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