Old Man Rant...

Today I realized I'm old, because I now believe teenagers are pigs and they are so annoying I thought I'd blog about it. I call them the iGeneration.

Kids these days...

1. Lots of little, tiny dumb kids live on my street. Often times I see toddlers ramble into the street (lord knows where the parents are). So when I see a teenage doing 40 on my street I get ticked. Yeah, I'm old. I'm now the stooge that used to shake his fist at me. Okay, I give kids a pass on that, they are just young, dum and full of... you know hormones. Every generation did it. People probably galloped horse too fast 120 years ago. Fine. You get older you know better. A kid can run out between two cars and it's game over. As a teenager you think that won't happen. Fine. That's all on me for knowing better.

2. There is no pride in anybody's job these days. I worked a menial, laborious job that kept me in and out of a hot oven with little to no ac, and I worked nonstop as a teenager. Sure, I had co-workers that slacked and did nothing, but most of them usually got fired and even the street kids usually did their work and didn't ignore customers... because they needed the money. Now, they can't get fired because people are so desperate for workers it's ridiculous. I say open the borders to every Mexican that wants to work in a McDonalds or fast food joint. Teens that don't do their job will lose out. I treated the customer with respect unless they were an ass to me, but only then I was subversive but I did it with a smile. These kids these days (whoops I'm old), look at a customer as an inconvience and an imposition. They give you the wrong change (always in their favor) and get mad when you correct them. Then they look at you like your an f'ing idiot the rare time they overpay you and you give it back. We used to be surprised by the honesty of a person when this would happen, today they are surprised only at your "stupidity" in giving it back. I'm sorry to interrupt your text messaging and phone calls but could please just do your f'ing job. Course nothing is more important than what is on their "i"phone because it's all about them.

3. They don't learn a thing in school. I was watching a thing on HBO about Baltimore public schools, with students that come and go as they please. One kid failed and wanted a second chance... his teacher gave him an open book, open notes test, and he missed an entire section because he never got the material. Course when he chose to go class it was usually late and the section he missed was a day he showed up after half the class was completed. On top of that, Students were allowed to borrow and copy other student's notes. And on top of that in class, the teacher gave every single answer to the final. Yet, he shows up with his mom bitching about not graduating. You have got to be kidding me. I've got no sympathy for people like that. None zero. Zilch. Null. Nil. Zippo. God, I'm an old man. I used to skip class and figure out how to pass, these kids just skip and expect it to be handed to them. My dumbass friends at least learned how to cheat without getting caught if nothing else. That skill and ingenuity at least counted for something. Not anymore though. Just show up and beg and you'll get a free ticket for the real world where you can't even do basic math or read a contract you sign.

4. What they do learn they learn from their parents and it's usually wrong. You hold a door open for somebody they don't say thank you. You wave somebody in during traffic, they don't wave thank you. It's like everybody walks around thinking they are entitled to something. It's their "i"Right after all. I'll soon have a kid, and I realize that when I do, I'll defend them to end of the earth, and they will do no wrong because they are my kid, but come on surely I'll realize that I was a dumbass half the time and at fault and lying to my teachers and my parents. I hope they get teachers that put them in their place and they better not come home crying about it. If a teacher mismarks them half a point, I'll say life ain't fair. Deal with it. Parents these days will raise holy hell if their kid was somewhat slighted. What's that teach them? Only that the world revolves around them. I suspect even some of my level headed friends will be guilty of this. It's a shame. Kids need coaches, other parents, and adults to put them in line. Try that to somebody's kid today and you are looking a fist coming your way or some indignant excuse about not parenting their kids. Right, cause your way is working you f'ing loon.

5. Girls dress like sluts. Worse than that they are sluts. We used to make fun of sluts. Now it's cool to be sluts. In our day, the hot chicks might put out but certainly weren't flashing their tops for any Joe Francis wannabe with a handi-cam. I read a survey about the insane sex lives of high-schoolers. It'd probably be impossible to be under 20 and fairly sexually active and not contract an STD these days. A few short years ago when I was a kid, you'd have to really sink to bottom of the barrel (sluts) to worry about it. Now, they give out pencillin like it's a vitamen. God, I hope I don't have a daughter. If so, I hope the pendulum swings back to more conservative apparallel. Otherwise she's getting home-schooled and having the social skills of a spelling bee champion. Once upon a time the movie KIDS was an eye-opener and a harbinger of bad times to come, now it underestimates teenagers. Parents don't let your daughters dress like sluts. AND stop dressing that way yourself, MOMS OF BEVERLY HILLS wannabees.

6. They got no role-models to do things right. Paris Hilton and Cottage-Cheese-in-a-garbage-bag-ass-girlfriend-of-Reggie-Bush-buttaface, are famous for doing a sex-tape. Jenna Jameson is considered somewhat hip (even though she's veering to plastic surgeon addict). Porn-stars used to be laughed at because they are such dooschbags of people they had to have sex for a living. That's like getting paid for eating or taking shits. Now you can just be a slut and be famous. Don't wear underwear and be on every news outlet. Go to rehab if you are cool: Amy Winehouse, Linsay Lohan, F'ing pyschotic Britney Spears. It used to be those were the exceptions and tragic, cautionary stories... now if Miley Cyrus makes it out of her teens without a meth addiction it'll be a surprise and a miracle. No wonder kids reminsce about their first blow job like we used to think about our first kisses. Kids think having a baby at 20 is a good idea. Lindsey Spears, nice role model. Wow. We are de-evolving at a tremendous rate, did I mention I'm f'ing old now.

7. I don't have much use for organized religion, but I don't begrudge anybody that does. In fact, short of fanatics I respect them for their commitment. I believe in God and believe in a personal relationship with him, and one day I'll be judged how I live my life (and I hope I'm right), but that's neither here nor there. It's just to be clear that I'm not a bible-thumper even though I'm about to sound like one. Perhaps, the universal rejection of organized religion today is part of the reason kids are what they are. Granted, I'm not leaving my kids alone with any man of the cloth, but they are going to church. They are going to learn morality. I won't force them to embrace the church but they will be exposed to it and learn right from wrong.

As for the pediphiles, when I was a kid, my mom feared this Freddy Mecury lookalike of a coach had a crush on me, nothing concrete but she was weirded out, because he did things like change the practice times just to keep me on the team (for the record I was also a stud and he wanted to win... but who knows maybe he aspired to sniff my underroos) so, what did she do? She didn't keep me from playing that sport she just never left me out of her sight. If she couldn't watch a practice or a game I didn't go. I was never ever alone with the guy. Now people are lining up to let their kids sleep over at Michael Jackson so they can sue the guy. Please people, send your kids to church/synagogue/mosque/tabernacle/temple or whatever. Don't let them sleep over or go to private quarters with any adult, but give them a once a week lesson on the golden rule and other universal truths that will make them a better person.

8. It's everywhere. Probably doesn't even matter how you parent which is the scary thing because it's so pervasive. Even the Amish are thugs. I saw a show on ABC about the Amish kids that run away from home so they can watch TV, drink a beer, and drive a car. Fine all honorable American past-times, but then this Amish kid within a year of shaking the shackles of Amishness, sets fire to an Amish buggy, cusses like a sailor, and is kind of boastful about the time he served in jail. Huh? How does that happen. He looked like one of many Amish kids doing this. If we can't keep the Amish teens in line, we are in trouble.

9. Remember the frat president that knocked over a bank because he wanted to play more online poker. Back in the day, when a bookie could break your legs if you got out of hand, you learned your f'ing lesson unless you were born with a chemical imbalance predisposing you to be a denegerate--then you just got killed one day and dropped in the river with concrete shoes. These days they just get a new credit card and default on it. No wonder we have a mortgage crisis. Sure, you don't have to pay for anything do you. We police the wrong things. We hurt our kids by sheltering them from the wrong things and we don't shelter them from things we should.

F'ing kids.

God, I'm so f'ing old. It's embarrassing.


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