Live Action--Totally New, Totally Wild, Texas Style

As hinted at in my last post, me and Big Smoove played yesterday at Harrahs. Got there at about 1:00 left about 5:00. 4 hour day? Actually 16 hours--wish I could say it was all dragging pots and highfiving Ray about the donkeys around us but it was a grind. Though it certainly had its moments.

I got there before Ray and immediately sat down at a new table and it instantaneously became the wildest table I'd ever played at. Hand 1, two all-in prelop and a double up to a Yuppie in town for blackjack tournament (yitfbt or YIT for short). Hand 2. 3-way all in and YIT wins again. Hand 3, another guy, local business owner and carouser, a guy who laughs at everything ( HAHA for short) with plenty-o money to burn doubles up from through YIT. Hand 4 another 3 way all in to YIT. 5 hands into it, where your initial buy-in is capped at $200 YIT is sitting with over 1k. And for the most part the showdowns have been marginal holdings vs. one another. Guy to my right says he's going to get a table change where he can actually play poker. I'm thinking he's f'ing crazy. FREE MONEY, FREE MONEY, FREE MONEY is flashing in front of you in neon lights from 4 different seats and you want a table change so you can lead out for $13 every once in a while or try to minraise preflop?

Hand 5, mr. big winner gets involved in another pot with HAHA, and loses again. Hand 6: HAHA is just having a grand ole time, and says to YIT after clearly and unabashedly looking at his hand "Hey man, let's just play this blind and go all in then." YIT, says "No problem," the all-in buttons are tossed to each player and the rest us continue to watch the show. I'm pretty sure I know what HAHA has. They don't turn up their cards but play out the flop, turn and river. YIT hits second pair with his pocket queen and his 4 does nothing, HAHA giggles outrageously as he pairs up the ace on the board and then giggles even louder turns overs a second ace. It was bad acting for bad dinner theatre as he swore he never looked at his rockets.

Just as I'm about to pity YIT, for HAHA's subterfuge, YIT informs the table he's up a 1/4 of a million on his trip and emphasizes we should clearly understand money is but a trifle to him. We realize he wants us to grasp that the cash is a burden to the supple leather of his wallet all I think dress your age douschebag while eyeing his popped collar. He was 40+. Then to show off his cavalier attitude toward currency he gives HAHA an extra $100 bill for getting so lucky with his pocket aces when shoving blind. What a dbag. Later I find out from another player HAHA wipes his arse with hundos, but that doesn't stop HAHA from sticking into his pocket proud of scamming somebody else with his Ben Affleck like poker skills and acting ability.

If you are doing the math, you'll realize YIT, is suddenly short of money. No way he'll let this continue so he drops a stack of hundos onto the table to reload and to rebuild a comparable phallus to the one he just pissed away to HAHA. In seven hands, at the start of a table he went from $200 to over 1k to rebuying. So HAHA, challenges YIT to another all-in blind hand, and YIT agrees. Meanwhile, he just has the chips in transit button, and the chiprunner has his 3 bills on the way. Oh, and the obvious answer is yes, this was after HAHA looked at his hand--again, before the challenge. So of course, the chiprunner walks up and give HAHA all of YIT's chips after he loses again. Another reload and a verbal reminder that he's up a 1/4 of million and this table's action is just a pittiance to him.

Another all-in blind challenge and YIT gets lucky this time, and drags the whiner to my right's A10 and his stack with it, and doubles up through HAHA.

This abates to some degree as other players start getting hands and proper poker is played. Then YIT gets up to play in the finals of his blackjack tournament. He takes a good chunk of change with him. Bad development. Immediately after I get pocket Queens in LP I consider open shoving my stack with HAHA to act after me. He might call. I don't. I open raise to $35 after not playing a hand. HAHA calls. Sweet. Seat 1, a risk-taking older asian does also. The limpers get out of the way. Okay. Flop comes out Ace high.

HAHA checks. Asian bets. I fold. HAHA continuation calls (ha-ha). Turn is another Ace. Asian bets and HAHA c-calls again. River is 2. Asian shoves. HAHA calls. Asian has the ace for trips. HAHA has 35. It gives him the wheel with the 42A on the board.

HAHA, later is too bored to play and departs with his chips. This is a terrible development.

Suddenly the table is somewhat poor though a couple of us have added to our stacks, with one guy that got two big scores from HAHA an orbit or two before. Then as HAHA leaves another player gives him a bundle of hundos for a loan HAHA doesn't even remember making at their home game. HAHA laughs about it and pockets those bills too.

Then, a kid sits down at the table and pisses away half of his $500 buy-in. He shrugs and says to hell with. He doesn't feel like walking to the cage to cash out or he's not feelin' playing poker anymore so gives the guy next to me the remainder of his stack to just have. To say money was literally being given away is a factual statement. Three times in my first hour I watched players just given cash for these reason for conning a guy so well they were congratulated for it, sitting next to a guy, or getting paid back for money owed they didn't remember loaning.

Ray gets there after the table has calmed and he goes through a roller coaster of play. He's snakebitten like me when Tex is at my side, by getting a steady diet of second best and getting outkicked time and again. He sustains and drags some BIG pots by firing a third bullet in situations I wouldn't have and getting lay-downs where I didn't think they'd do it.

The early excitement turned a grueling grind as the rocks that had patiently soaked the chips from the table didn't let a dime go. And me not getting any hands worth playing. I maintain my stack by conservative c-bets and timed bluffs, but nothing really exciting.

Fast forward to the end of the night. Ray's gone home, after cementing in mind that guy is a bonafide poker celebrity. Literally every dealer or chip-runner or familar poker player recognized the dude and came over to say hi and ask where he's been. His answer got trimmed to: Got married, got a baby, got a new job with long hours. One guy drags a pot from Ray, and tells him he's admired his play from the first time he played at Harrahs and that's the first pot he's won off Ray in two years. Another player tells me I must be a good player because Ray only talks to good players. Wow, goondingy, big smoove, you the man.

When Ray has to go home, after getting his sweatshirt from me, a group of drunkards from Texas show up. The guy that clearly dominates their homegame with unchecked aggression falls like manna from the heavens to my left. The other guys take his abuse quite willingly and tout his prowess. Yes, a homegame hero in our very presence. I'm honored. And... finally, I get some hands.

Good player to my right leads out. I look at black bullets. I flat call the $10 raise and as I expected Mr. Talky HomeGameHero (or Mr. T HGH) re-raises. Good player to my right eyes my stack and ask me how much I got left as he's considering the re-raise (nice!) and then folds (later says he laid down Jacks--maybe he got a read on me). I get a genuine read of strength from Mr. Talky and think he'll call if I open shove especially after I just flat-called initially. I had planned on letting the donkey do the pulling but figured this time I'd do the pushing as he's kind of baiting me into action, as he's done when he's shown down big hands vs. other players. I bite the bait. I push. He insta-calls tabling the queens and confidently looking at his friends. I unveil the painkillers and they all hoot and holla taunting the hero. Then then good player is trying to high-five me. I refuse until the board is finished and the aces hold.

Later I get AK suited and do almost the exact same thing. I limp, Home game hero raises (as he does every 4 out of 5 hands) and action gets back to me after two callers. I don't shove here but decide to thin the field. I pump it large. Hero can't help but call. We lose the guys in the sidecar. Flop is AQQ. I check. He laughs, "You don't have a piece of that after a reraise. You trapping me of something?" He checks. On the turn, I decide he probably doesn't have the queen but check again hoping to induce a bet. He checks again. This worries me just a bit. Is he savvy enough to check the queen twice. He normally bets regardless, so either he's gunshy from the painkillers vs. ladies or he's the scary LAG player (loose-aggressive) who only check their monsters. River is harmless. I say f it, and value bet it. He tells me I've priced him in and after vacillating calls. He's got a 10 to go with the one on the turn.

Sleepy-time gets the best of me and I leave. I had to wait about 14 hours until I got some hands and got paid off with them. I guess patience is a virture. When I left I saw Joe Bush with a big stack eating up the last of the 2-5 game. Maybe I outghta start working mornings. Sorry, Ray only got to play the boring part of the day for his comeback.


Reid said…
did i spot a lebowski reference?

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