Next Time part I.

This week's column...

As I sometimes do, I stray from poker, and as I've been on a vacation caused hiatus from the game, now's as good a time as any to sound off on other subjects.

Next time I'm offered to cut the cards I might just respond this way...

"I prefer the whore that is your sister" (said Materazzi) after Zidane sarcastically offered to give the defender his shirt after the match because he had been pulling it.

-That has to go down as the greatest/worst way to end a career. Kicked off the field in overtime because you headbutted an opponent who taunted you in the World's most important championship. This would be like Mike Matasow hauling off on Shawn Sheikan heads up in the Main Event and getting blinded out while fighting.

Next time somebody owes me some money, I might just...

"... use rattlesnakes as deadly weapons to collect on a (poker) debt have been charged with conspiracy to commit murder, authorities said."

-Granted the debt was something like $60,000 but that's a tad excessive. Still, I got an old aquariam...

Next time in the face of overwhelming evidence that things are going in the wrong direction I will simply say...

"I don't think you make anything of any one thing," Krzyzewski said.

-Coach K at his most brilliant. USA basketball has failed in international competition for the last 10 years because they couldn't make outside shots. They lose to a B-Team of USA hoopsters that includes such notables as Aaron fricking Brooks, because they COULDN'T MAKE OUTSIDE SHOTS, and K in all his brilliance shrugs it off with that gem.

"I don't think you make anything of any one thing." What does that even mean? Asked if he's worried about the shooting woes of the U.S. the achilles heel of our international team, and the main reason, the likes of Greece have beaten us recently, and he says that. Bill are you concerned you've called with Jack high and got knocked out of your last two tournaments? "I don't think you make anything of any one thing."

Next time one of my friends tells me a strange baby name I'm going to say my kid's name is going to be...

"@" -- the father claiming the name was hip because of its common use in email and its similar sound to "ai ta," or "love him," for Mandarin speakers.

-Actually, my first born's name is suposed to be Dean. Middle name Smith. Now, with Dean looking like a CAT 5 about to lay waste to my favorite spring break desinations, I'm a little leery of using it. So maybe I will also us @. Does that have a name? Is it "AT" or something else like "&" is ampersand and "*" is asterisk?

Next time, somebody asks me if I serious about Louisiana seceeding from the union I'll ask if they want 100 kids and 18 wives and the easy life...

"A one-legged Emirati father of 78 is lining up his next two wives in a bid to reach his target of 100 children by 2015, Emirates Today reported on Monday. Daad Mohammed Murad Abdul Rahman, 60, has already had 15 brides although he has to divorce them as he goes along to remain within the legal limit of four wives at a time.";_ylt=Aic1ql8DfZPcmhwaV5.pnfOs0NUE

-If the great state of Louisiana dropped out of the union and formed a country the income from oil related sales would dwarf the $1000 each state resident in Alaska gets, and more closely mirror the wealth of the UAE. Sound good to you? There this guy... Daad (yeah, his name really is Dad) relying on just HIS MILITARY PENSION and support from his government, is talking about reaching the centruy mark in children. We have a problem here with people living off the system, but appartently there you can live the easy life, and pop out 100 kids.

Until next time..


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