My interview (FAKE) with Jason Alexander

Complete Coverage of Jason Alexander's (fake) interview with GCP after signing with Pokerstars:

JA: Oh you're here.

GCP: Yes. surprised?

JA: I don't think I've ever been to an appointment in my life where I wanted the other guy to show up.

GCP. Okay. Well, first off congratulations, many successful players strive to get the type of sponsorship deal you've just landed with Pokerstars. With you newfound fame how will that change your strategy of going out early and often in tournaments?

JA: Well, I will still bust early, that's a given, but I do I have a couple of strategies at the table. To make sure nobody capitalizes on the genius that was my final table experience on Celebrity Poker...

GCP: Weren't they one table tournaments?

JA: You say one table, I say final table. Anyway, as I was saying, I will introduce myself not as George... er... Jason Alexander but Art, Art Van De Lay. I will throw them off the scent of my genius even further by saying I am either an Architect or an Importer/Exporter.

GCP: Isn't that George's bit from Seinfeld?

JA: Table Image is about developing a character at the table, and then living it. If I may continue...

GCP: Please...

JA: At times, I will confuse both myself and my opponents by saying I am focusing more on the exporting side of things and then switch to focusing on the importing. If it can expose my friend as a liar to my wife even better. I will use this tactic with discretion because a George divided against itself, cannot stand.

GCP: Of course not. But your name is Jason.

JA: Method Acting. It isn't just for the cameras, my friend, it's also for the tables. AGAIN, if I may continue. Other times I will simply say, My name is George, I'm unemployed and I live at my parents. If they sympathize or pity me great. Pity is very underrated. I like pity. It's good.

GCP: They might soft play you. Okay, that makes some sense. How about online where it's hard to make those kinds of relationships, what's your experience there?

JA: I did spend a great amount of time with computers in my parents basement, unfortunately I was not playing online poker I was trying to sell them... but I won't reveal that to my table. Another key strategy will be my decision to look annoyed all the time, people will think I'm busy.

GCP: How will that help...

JA: Do I look annoyed?

GCP: Yes

JA: Don't I look busy?

GCP: Maybe?

JA: Yes, I look busy and annoyed.

GCP: OK. How does that help in poker.

JA: A busy poker player is a dangerous one.

GCP: Ok.

JA: You heard of Phil Hellmuth?

GCP: Sure.

JA: He always looks busy.

GCP: He always looks annoyed.

JA: Exactly!

GCP: ... .... Is there anybody you look up to in poker?

JA: Well, Izzy "It's Go Time" Mandelbaum inspired me to continue playing even when completely outmatched and outclassed. Also, my childhood friend Lloyd Braun became an online superstar. He says his handle is Anette15 or something. He's good.

GCP: Is it me or aren't those characters from the TV show Seinfeld...

Read the rest here:


Tiltin Texan said…
Remember Jerry, its not a lie if you believe its true.

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