Sleep With the Fishes, Dine on the Whales

Old Video of a calling station who deservedly gets rolled. Those crazy scandis.

I don't want my statement of support of Monkey to get pushed down too far so please scroll down to the next item for that. Anyway, I'm bummed, won't be joining the boys for the GCPC. Actually, I might be traveling tomorrow, if the storm turns. Yesterday's field being close to 600 is overwhelming a bit-in a really good way. I would have been there today if things had gone a little bit better. I decided if I had a big score at the Harrahs weekly I'd come down for either the Thursday or Friday event, Gustave permiting of course. I cashed, but busted out in 8th when I commited a series of mistakes on one hand. It was a paltry pay day too as only 57 players played. I added another underpair catching a set to beat an overpair to my tally, I think I'm still on the losing end of that one 30-2 (it happening to me vs. me doing it to someone else) in a tournament. The two times that's happened I've cashed so, I had a good feeling when my 99 improved to a set...

STATEMENT ON MONKEY/BEAU (08/27/08) Please review Monkey's blog for his account of the current situation. Our position at Gulf Coast Poker has been to not edit any of our bloggers material. They opinions are their own. In fact, the blogs are their own, so it is not our place to edit or censure them. We understand that the wild times get as much coverage as the daily grind. Those are an aspect of one part of the poker lifestyle. The best part of Monkey's blog is his unfiltered viewpoint, his blatant honesty, and the window that affords us into his life as an up and coming poker player. In a recent post he made note of the fact he clued in a friend he had a big hand by kneeing him so he could get out of the pot. As a result of reading his blog the Beau has banned him from their casino. In my opinon this is severe. Will's actions were a breach of poker etiquette, yes, the first step toward collusion, maybe, but cheating no. Point of fact, him merely retelling the ...

Some questions... 1. Do you think the Beau is being too heavy handed? 2. Would you an endorse a petition if offered? 3. What do you think is appropriate for Will going forward? 4. Any other comments or thoughts are welcome...

What’s a Timelion? A Big cat with a clock? Yes it's a tall Flava Flav. I watched that dreck of a TV show Flavor of Love and discovered Flavor gets upset when his name is misspelled “F-l-a-v-a” because it’s Flavor. I find that more than odd. Anyway, a timelion is also kind of like a misspelling or a homophone of sorts. But only if I said “misspelling” and you thought of a skinny 90210 veteran with twin airbags stapled onto her chest under a face only daddy, Secretariat or a gold digger could love. And a timelion is like a homophone, if you hear homophone and think a bejeweled, bedazzled, pink, feathered phone whose ring tone is set to “Fabulous.” Scan down for the real answer it's in volume one. Anyway, we left our tale with SuperBill’s trying to serve his tournament penalty for his 504th f bomb by doing a lap around the table instead of sitting out a lap of hands. Once he was corrected, what’s a SuperBill to do to kill time? The husband and wife “team” at the limit table are go...

I was reading on Pokerati that pros are offering to coach the November Nine for a piece of their winnings. Wha-huh? On those terms I'd say no to everyone. For a fee maybe, for a tiny, tiny, tiny percentage maybe (like 0.0001%) but in general no. The November Nine has to realize that their "coach" will get a butt load of publicity standing behind them. On top of that, if the coached player does well Norman Chad will attribute it to the coaching 100 times during the broadcast and not the player. Whatever company the coach is "working for" (ie FullTilt or Stars) will get plenty of advertising as the camera will seek them out Johnny Chan behind Jaime Gold style. Although with ChanPoker just going under I guess that didn't help his site out too much. His misstep ignored, if you think about it, the coaching pays for itself just from the camera time. Not only that, coaches could actually cut into the Nine's secondary profit streams. If you were an onl...

As humorous as some people find SB's bender in Vegas, and I'm glad to know somebody's laughing, even if it's at me, I don't want to totally forget poker, so some quick hands from today's Harrahs tournament. I make one move today, in a battle of the blinds. I thought I represented a hand pretty well and the kid agreed with me but he said if I bet the turn he'd fold. Which I'm a little confused over. Tell me what ya'll think. Am I overthinking this and missing the obvious. My hand is irrelevant, because it never connected, in the small blind. I think it was J9. Folded to me. I just gave him a walk an orbit earlier. Considered raising but wanted to see a flop and despite being OOP I thought I'd know where I was in the hand. I complete he limps. Flop comes KK7 (no draw). I check. He bets. I don't buy a king but maybe a 7. I think I can get him off with the right turn or river cards. Turn is 10. Would he buy me chasing a 10? Maybe...

Saw this on Tao of Poker http://taopoker.blogspot.com/ but it's from 2+2 forums.

A timelion, for those that don't know, is a large cat trained by shaman to meow or roar, depending on your proximity, on the hour every hour. These cats when released into the wild or when escaping after killing their keepers usually starved as mid-stalk they'd announce it was four o'clock. Or not. Scroll down for the real definition. It's 5 am or so on a friday in Las Vegas. I'm now steamrolling my two opponents in a limit hold 'em game. I tell them they are going to make me rich. After the casino's cut and the tips we fire out there may be $60 on the table for me to win. 5:07 SB (which stands for SuperBill a persona rarely seen in 6 years but accompaning me on my bachelor party) to his two tablemates on a 2-4 limit game: You thought your husband and wife hustle was going to work on me. But see, I figured you out. Like a first base coach I stole your signs. Man: Doesn't a first base coach give... SB: That's why I'm up $12. Pay the L...

Timelion is a timeline. Just think of it as typo if you don't know what it is. Or scroll down to volume i for more info. By the way want to give a shout to Bake who is recovering from surgery right now. Get well, Bake. Early am at Caesers, let's call it 4 am: SuperBill arrives to near empty poker room. There is a 2-4 limit game going on with two players and a dealer. There is a jammed packed 1-2 game. SuperBill gets in the cue for the 1-2 game. Two or three seconds have passed, so he's bored. The nice man and woman at the 2-4 game hope SuperBill doesn't see them. They look like the kids in class that didn't do the reading and are praying the teacher doesn't call on them. Seeing this, SuperBill of course gets a rack of whites and sit down at the 2-4 game. Yes, it's 3 handed. Yes, there is probably only $80 on the table. And yes, SuperBill is going to steamroll this action. 4:01 am: One of SuperBill's powers is a sense of knowing when someone doesn't ...

Sorry folks, I've been out of town again at a wedding. Taking a break from the timelions to catch up with some stuff but I'll get back to the Vegas trip in short order. At the wedding in Richmond hung out at the same bar as Ben Wallace. I think it might be owned by his brother (or brother in law). It's in the fan and called Sidewalk Cafe (? Definitely sidewalk something). For some reason, I did not approach Big Ben or challenge him to a poker game. Don't know if he would have tolerated SuperBill as nicely as other NBAers have. Hard to focus on anything but the Olympics. Michael Phelps is silly. Heard other athletes talking about just watching him is an honor. But they are all nobodies of course... like LeBron James. Painful soccer paragraph that happens to this blog every once in a while--right now! Skip if you can avert your eyes. I watched Marcelo Balboa singlehandedly moosch (jinx, blackcat) the US Mens Soccer team. Up 2-1 over group favorite "Nederl...

Already two Timelions about the bachelor party Vegas and I'm only now arriving in Vegas in volume 3? Nobody said brevity was my strong suit. In law school when my friend applied to be a member of some important studious group (Law Review, maybe), they had an essay for a question It was brutally worded and a mess of commas, subthoughts, paratheses, and overall a convoluted miasma that was probably written by five or six future defenders of lead toys. For a parallel in ineptitude continue reading my posts. At the heart of this half page question, it was basically asking what skills or attributes he'd bring to the table. His answer of course was one word: "brevity." Probably not wholly original, but it was especially applicable and I believe he got the gig. I was in the somewhat less pretigious DVD Review. Anyway, you'll see no such well chosen concise words of genuis here. Why? Because part of my voice in retelling these anectdotes is SuperBill, and Super...

Timelion is a timeline. See volume 1 below for an explanation. Feel free to drag a pot and say "Pay THE LION, Pay him handsomely" and I will think you are cool, it's the new "Ship it to the Colonel." THURSDAY Thursday 1 am. I dream the fanciful dreams of anyone going to Vegas, winning cars Nick Papageorgio style, going heads up and dragging huge pots from an deep pocketed-Cowboy fish who bathes in his crude oil, channel TJ Cloutier's wet-dream and getting a 20 consective hour craps roll and needing an IV to stay on my feet and a cart for all my chips, and getting the high-rollas suite. At the end of my dream a drunken Wayne Newton gets eaten by Siegfield and his lion (PAY HIM WAYNE!). I awake to see one of my dogs licking her crotch feverishly. Ewww, does she do that every time she thinks I'm sleeping? I'm kind of grossed out. Thursday 7:30 am. I get a text message from the Brothers Johnson saying they arrived at 4 am in Vegas. A mere six hours after...

Timelion? It's actually a timeline, it's called a Timelion in honor of my friend "Bake" who on our first trip to Vegas in 2000 (V2K as it was dubbed) heard the craps dealers say "pay the line" at the MGM. He thought they were saying Pay the Lion. Maybe because of MGM's lions we don't really know. For two or three months when something good would happen he'd say "Pay the Lion" and none of us made the connection to Vegas. When finally asked, Bake explained that's what they said at the Craps table. Now, anytime the word line is in play, lion is often substituted. Kind of stupid but kind of funny that months went by with him aimlessly saying Pay the Lion and we just thought it was some Wrestling slogan or something. Anyway, Timelines are Timelions, You can also... Read Between the Lions... and That's the Bottom Lion. So when I did the write up of that inaugral Vegas trip I did it in a series of Timelions. I'm dusting off that ...