Sleep With the Fishes, Dine on the Whales

So, it's be some time since I last posted about my play. I chopped another Harrahs tournament last week, and then went back to back in whiffs. No need to discuss the chop, but I will talk about the misses. On Wednesday I shoved from the cut-off with KJ and got looked up by the small blind who had AJ. Not sure I would have called from his spot, though if I factor in the way I came to a decision to shove, he might have thought I looked weak and was at least flipping for a third of his stack. Can't say it was a bad call, maybe it was the right call from every perspective. That kid would later get to the finally table and make some ridiculous proclamations about how much money he'd take in a ten handed chop. Even more so, the fact his minor chip lead, and his proclamation he was the best player at the table (he might have been... but there were a fair number of repeat offenders at that table), seemed to rub the entire room the wrong way, including everybody single person

I don't want my statement of support of Monkey to get pushed down too far so please scroll down to the next item for that. Anyway, I'm bummed, won't be joining the boys for the GCPC. Actually, I might be traveling tomorrow, if the storm turns. Yesterday's field being close to 600 is overwhelming a bit-in a really good way. I would have been there today if things had gone a little bit better. I decided if I had a big score at the Harrahs weekly I'd come down for either the Thursday or Friday event, Gustave permiting of course. I cashed, but busted out in 8th when I commited a series of mistakes on one hand. It was a paltry pay day too as only 57 players played. I added another underpair catching a set to beat an overpair to my tally, I think I'm still on the losing end of that one 30-2 (it happening to me vs. me doing it to someone else) in a tournament. The two times that's happened I've cashed so, I had a good feeling when my 99 improved to a set

I was reading on Pokerati that pros are offering to coach the November Nine for a piece of their winnings. Wha-huh? On those terms I'd say no to everyone. For a fee maybe, for a tiny, tiny, tiny percentage maybe (like 0.0001%) but in general no. The November Nine has to realize that their "coach" will get a butt load of publicity standing behind them. On top of that, if the coached player does well Norman Chad will attribute it to the coaching 100 times during the broadcast and not the player. Whatever company the coach is "working for" (ie FullTilt or Stars) will get plenty of advertising as the camera will seek them out Johnny Chan behind Jaime Gold style. Although with ChanPoker just going under I guess that didn't help his site out too much. His misstep ignored, if you think about it, the coaching pays for itself just from the camera time. Not only that, coaches could actually cut into the Nine's secondary profit streams. If you were an onl

Sorry folks, I've been out of town again at a wedding. Taking a break from the timelions to catch up with some stuff but I'll get back to the Vegas trip in short order. At the wedding in Richmond hung out at the same bar as Ben Wallace. I think it might be owned by his brother (or brother in law). It's in the fan and called Sidewalk Cafe (? Definitely sidewalk something). For some reason, I did not approach Big Ben or challenge him to a poker game. Don't know if he would have tolerated SuperBill as nicely as other NBAers have. Hard to focus on anything but the Olympics. Michael Phelps is silly. Heard other athletes talking about just watching him is an honor. But they are all nobodies of course... like LeBron James. Painful soccer paragraph that happens to this blog every once in a while--right now! Skip if you can avert your eyes. I watched Marcelo Balboa singlehandedly moosch (jinx, blackcat) the US Mens Soccer team. Up 2-1 over group favorite "Nederl

The Future of Poker... It's Bleak, It's Dark, and Pretty Pathetic. Tom Dwan and Tiffany Michelle two of the four horses of the Poker Apocalypse... Wheeeeeeee. Wheeeeeeee. Wii, Wii, Wii, the felt is going to be taken over by a new breed. It's internet whiz kids. Anybody catch an episode of Poker After Dark on NBC this week? It's Vets vs. Nets as the new generation of internet poker stars square off against Dolye Brunson, Johnny Chan, and Huck Seed. Brian Townsend, Tom Dwan aka Durrrrrrrr (or just your average vampiric shut-in tethered to the broadband connection in his parents basement), and a kid whose name I don't remember but is probably worth 100,000 of me. Anyway, if these guys are the future of televized poker we are all in trouble. Don't worry about the mortgage crisis putting a dent in poker revenues the real bringer of the poker apocalypse is Durrrr's personality. I'd rather take a razor blade to the any of my skin tissue that is dark pink then b

The November Nine is set. As you may or may not remember the final table will be played in November. These are the luckboxes who will play for immortality, and will have to stew until then. • DENNIS PHILLIPS, 53, St. Louis, Missouri, 26,295,000• IVAN DEMIDOV, 27, Moscow, Russia, 24,400,000• SCOTT MONTGOMERY, 26, Perth, Ontario, Canada, 19,690,000• PETER EASTGATE, 22, Odense, Denmark, 18,375,000• YLON SCHWARTZ, 38, Brooklyn, New York, 12,525,000 • DARUS SUHARTO, 39, Toronto, Ontario, Canada, 12,520,000• DAVID RHEEM, 28, Los Angeles, California, 10,230,000• CRAIG MARQUIS, 23, Arlington, Texas, 10,210,000• KELLY KIM, 31, Whittier, California, 2,620,000 Kelly Kim nursed his short-stacked for a couple of hours to get there. Peter Eastgate is a Scandi, Ivan Demidov a Ruskie, and Craig Marquis our "gulf coast" horse. Some observations... -Joe Bishop when it was eleven handed had a friend buy his table a celebratory bottle of Dom Perignon. I guess the writing was clearly on the wall,

Today I realized I'm old, because I now believe teenagers are pigs and they are so annoying I thought I'd blog about it. I call them the iGeneration. Kids these days... 1. Lots of little, tiny dumb kids live on my street. Often times I see toddlers ramble into the street (lord knows where the parents are). So when I see a teenage doing 40 on my street I get ticked. Yeah, I'm old. I'm now the stooge that used to shake his fist at me. Okay, I give kids a pass on that, they are just young, dum and full of... you know hormones. Every generation did it. People probably galloped horse too fast 120 years ago. Fine. You get older you know better. A kid can run out between two cars and it's game over. As a teenager you think that won't happen. Fine. That's all on me for knowing better. 2. There is no pride in anybody's job these days. I worked a menial, laborious job that kept me in and out of a hot oven with little to no ac, and I worked nonstop

What have I been up to? Have I played any cards at all? When will I be in Vegas? These questions answered and more in the latest, thrilling installment of the death of single Bill. Went to Delaware, met my 2nd niece and got to talk to my first niece. My first niece calls me Uncle Bull, I like that. That's part of the reason I sometimes use the Bull picture on the www.gulfcoastpoker.net page. The 2nd niece doesn't say much. She's not walking or crawling either. I saw the family and crunched a years worth of visits in one weekend. Surprising how much you can condense in a short amount of time. We were almost comfortable enough to fall back into the familar pattern of bickering around old sibling rivalries but didn't quite make it. I guess as you get older you get more civil. Bad thing was, I didn't have time to call up old friends or really visit with anybody. Watched my brother graduate from his master's program. He only got a 4.0. He maintained a

Here is the complete interview with Will Souther. He's currently in Vegas with a number of Gulf Coast players. We conducted this interview online via email. When did you start playing poker? In high schoool and colllege we played a lot of draw poker and mix games. ButI didn't start playing No Limit Hold Em until 2003. Favorite hand? Everyone knows its K9! In tournament play whenI move in short stack with K9 I am 24 for 28. Amazing. 2nd favorite hand is 6-7...I was born in 1967...my little sister in 1976. What would you consider the the best poker game? Omaha hi/lo or Stud...because there is so much more thinking requireed. Which game would you say is your strongest? Probably Stud because I have a photogenic memory....but I really think 5 Card Draw may be my strongest because of my ability to read my opponent, and my ability to smack talk. Would love to see a WSOP 5-Draw event. How did you come up with the moniker..."The Monkey"...or "Monkey Boy" What was the

Ultimate (losing) Bet. Thanks to Cornell Fiji of 2+2 for this wrap-up. It's long but it's thorough. Follow the link below for the rest. Cliffnotes, UB a cousin of Absolute Poker, who had their scandal last year, at around the same time had some guys KILLING it in high stakes poker. Like never missing a bet, only folding losers and value betting the thinnest of margins. It was like they could see the cards. Well they could. Some highlights... 1. This Rorsach test spot (I see a guy a in a robe being attacked by bees)... Here's a graphical representation of the abusdity of the Absolute Poker cheater's success, which the shared parent company of UB, said was not suspicious. Left side is money voluntarily put into the pot (doesn't count blinds). Bottom axis is Big Blinds won or lost over 100 hands. Running up through the middle of that blue ink spot is zero, to the left is losers, to the right is winners. Two things of note, the more you trend upward in Volunta

Sure... it's been shown that porn can be a performance enhancer, but a life enhancer? A poker enhancer? BTW, if the title doesn't tip you off this might be a little NSFW... I had a friend in college who insisted that he watch a dirty movie before going up to the fraternity row to meet ladies over beers. He swore his success rate was far higher after doing so. Anectdotal evidence... yawn. Still, if he is to be believed perhaps the natural aggresion from being horny, as a tool to overcoming natural shyness inhibitors could also be a useful tool on the felt as an instigator to agressiveness. In Barry Greenstein's book, Ace on the river, he suggests a poker player be sexually satisfied. If you are going to be on the road for long periods of time he suggests a substitute for a wife be found in a traveling mate. His children by many last names suggests he had no difficulty in finding said substitutes. From a moral and ethical perspective I disagree with Greenstein, thoug

For the first time in years I didn't fill out a bracket immediately after they were published. I will probably do 40. Invariably, I'll be able to say I predicted every game correctly, of course by the same token I'll also have gotten it wrong more times than right. I focus on the positive though, not the negative. I knew a guy that used to only buy 1 powerball ticket, because as he would say if I bought two, even if I won, I'd also lose. That's actually a pretty good point... but back to the brackets. Some rules to live by in filling out your bracket. 1. There are no rules. That was quick. Like spotting patterns in the stock market once you see a trend it bucks itself. 5s always lose to a 12 seed. Last year every 5 won. 1s and 2s never lose a first round game. The little Spiders of the University of Richmond were the first to upend a 2 seed when they beat Syracuse and that has since happenend three more times. So now the rule is 1 seeds are invulnerable.

When you are in a slump, you body position usually literally becomes a slump at the table. Not the kind of image you want to give off when making a bold bluff, or a raise with a marginal hands. It screams weakness. I'd say recently I've been in a mini-slump and have had to catch myself from sinking into the felt. Recently the Harrahs wednesday tournament has been my personal Iceberg, my reads have been outstanding yet, I've had nothing to show for it. This wednesday I had a strange, strange hand play out. I raise from EP playing on my tight image with 64 suited. I like to do this because it gives me three options. I can c-bet like I have an overpair or a big ace that paired up. I can muck the hand easily if my "bluff" c-bet isn't going to work or the texture of the board mandates calls by draws. And three, I hit it, inevitably I'll get paid off because the table is putting me on high cards or a pocket pair. So, the flop comes 765. Big blind ch

Wanted to revisit my online experiment. As some of you know, I've started a Pokerstars account with that tiny amount I won via a freeroll. http://sleepwiththefishesdineonthewhales.blogspot.com/2007/10/monday-column-online-play-sounds-dirty.html Now for the First Update: playing micro limits very infrequently, I've raised that "bankroll" to over a whopping $12. At the same time, I've also played a few 12000 people freerolls hoping to satellite into a bigger event and met with zero success. Well, less than zero because I've gotten to the bubble a few times. Anyway as of this morning that's $0.00 invested to $1.75 to $12.90. The zero to a million is the dream, but I've also laid out goals of seeing a lot of hands and refining other aspects of my game to help with my live play. How's that working out? At first, I was surprised by how true the play is regardless of the penny stakes, and to keep myself honest, in my head I was just moving the deci

Played in the first event. Thought I did well. Ended up in the 60s or 70s out 380 players. They pay 36. Seemed every time I got some momentum I took a beat. Three or four times I had to rebuild my stack after getting snapped back to starting chips. Fun stuff like Ak getting called by A2 for all his chips when we hit an A on the flop. Hello 2 on the river. A critical hand for me had nothing to do with a bad beat. Got Q rag in the big blind. Middle position min raises with one caller. Small blind folds. With the antes I feel I'm getting the right price, plus the raiser and caller are somewhat tight so I can steal when the flop misses my weak holding. Flop gives me nothing, but my image has been so tight I planned on firing away if the texture was weak. It's 10 6 4. Two clubs. Not too bad. As I calculate what to bet and read my opponents, I see both guys double check their hole cards. Hmm... I put this as a good sign. Lots of time in the face of an impending bet

So with 20 left in the tournament today, payout the final 10 and usually chopping at 1k a person, I've amassed 10% of the chips. I've built my stack at that point with ruthless aggression in the tight bubble play aspect of the tournament after spending 4 hours convincing everybody I'm the tightest at the table. No need to mention the suckout I made in a battle of the blinds with A10 suited against Kings to give me half that stack. I raise almost half my stack against the big stack in the BB showing him I was pot committed. He quickly looks at his cards and sez... "All in." Oops, once again dug my own hole. He's got kings. Ace spikes for me. Sweet, I think, finally a tournament where I get the suckouts. Oh, the karmic justice headed my way. I played with Parfait from Houma, and watched him get knocked out of the tournament with pocket Jacks vs. a guy who called with 3s. He said to the table, "I'll never win those because I never play that bad." It

Yesterday, I had a pretty good run. At critical time I utilized some tells and though I didn't turn a profit on those hands, in fact my tournament strategy told me to go against my reads, it did get me thinking about tells, when you should listen to them, and the perils of internet strategy in live play because they don't listen to them. Rewind to yesterday. I got that warm and fuzzy feeling as my stroked ego told myself, "You are the best poker in the world" as I luckboxed into these 3 hands: 1. Middle set over bottom set. I'll double up thank you. Yes, I'm a genuis not just lucky. It was amazing how I extracted every possible dollar out of that hand (sarcasm alert for those who can't read it). 2. Short stacked and bubble time with two short handed tables left, I got 6-4 in the big blind. SB limps. Flop is A57. I bet out with my draw. He calls. For some reason I'm fairly confident he doesn't have an Ace. Actually I'm sure, he's raised ever